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by Arianna Huffington
Welcome to Bill and Arianna's excellent adventure: on the heels of a small donation made to the Democratic National Committee -- the result of a lost bet with Al Franken -- she's invited to spend three days, with access as full as an intern's, in the infamous Lincoln bedroom. Like Alice's exploits through the looking glass--only much more lurid, this being Washington--Arianna's weekend in the White House wonderland is increasingly surreal, constantly titillating, and brutally funny as she encounters a parade of curiouser and curiouser surprises, including:
- The Horndog-in-Chief, Bill Clinton, who lusts after anything that moves -- whether it's a zaftig intern in an overstuffed dress or a fat-cat fund-raiser with an overstuffed wallet.
- A genial Al Gore stored upright in a basement corner, ready to take over the presidency at a moment's notice -- the only time he gets taken upstairs is for fund-raising calls and to have his arms rotated after every thousand calls.
- James Carville auctioning off the assets of the Executive Office -- from the President's underwear to the trust of the American people.
- Maya Angelou, Tipper Gore, Madonna, a giggly intern, and a Greek chorus of breastfeeding mothers joining Hilary Clinton at a tea party.
- A very interactive television that broadcasts the wildest political programming ever seen since Jeff Greenfield's appearance in Wild Orchid III.
- An outrageous state dinner for the Chinese President that's closed to the media--even that hunky Sam Donaldson--and for good reason.
- A talking cat who is better-placed "Deep Throat" than Woodward or that Dustin Hoffman guy ever dreamed of.
Of course the star this backstage tour is Bill Clinton himself. While always devising new ways to feed his financial, carnal, and altogether insatiable appetites, he and his sometimes sidekick and best unsupported actor Newt Gingrich, during some soul searching in a midnight raid of the snack pantry, reach an epoch-making bipartisan consensus that oral sex is not adultery. (Now that's an historical legacy.) And as a reminder of just how far politics and leadership have strayed, there's a visit from the remarkably well-preserved Abraham Lincoln himself. And all of this without issuing a single subpoena!
In the sharpest political satire since the Contract with America, Arianna Huffington takes off the gloves--and, in the director's cut, a whole lot more--as she takes on the dishonesty and malfeasance of politicians of all stripes, leading us on a mind-bending tour through the White House looking glass.
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